Eve of an examination

College time is really interesting. Being exposed to the diverse crowd, their ideas and lifestyle does fascinate and at times intimidate you.

In a college where the library isn't open all night long (and it wouldn't matter even if it were), the eve of an examination can be a testing time for any undergraduate. Every room shares its walls with three other rooms. And yes, the walls aren't sound proofed. Hence with crude accusations of you copulating with your family members flying left right and centre, in languages which originated in the south, the north and the west, you really get to experience what a melting pot college really is. And it's viral. One usage of "bhenchod" only invites the same from the other end and this is really the domino effect that we're talking about. It comes to a point where you have to seriously make an effort to listen closely to what is being said and really dig through the surface of the conversation which primarily consists of bhenchods and the occasional one with yo mother. But since your eyes are on a powerpoint presentation teaching you how to manage a database and rules of normalization, you pretty much just hear the cuss words.

Music and intoxicants only add to the brew. As the odour of fermentation sets in and the smoke settles, as the loud punjab meets norway mashed up playlist starts blaring right into your ear and as the bitching starts, you realise that the world isn't flat after all. 

Election Viewpoint

Yesterday, a certain Mr Bhattacharya posted an entry on his blog, where he beautifully articulated that politics at our college is way more serious than it’s supposed to be.

Tasteless mortals and others might view upon that post as an attempt to bastardize the political activities that go on inside the closed gates. In its current avatar, the political scenario is almost always dominated by two secular parties for each post and you have to pick sides. At first glance this seems rather contradictory since the common man (and moreover an engineering college student) is opportunistic and has high hopes and aspirations, but a closer introspection might reveal that many able men/women are already post holders in some club or department. So that takes care of half the eligible people. But what about the rest? Surely they would want to go for the post? There can only be one reason that can explain this. It’s at times like this that you really respect the college. A consensus between nearly 1500 students for 4 posts really shows the maturity levels of the students.

This is probably a perfect example of the “Invisible Hand” that Adam Smith talks about in his Bible for Economics, The Wealth of Nations.

The theory of the Invisible Hand states that if each consumer is allowed to choose freely what to buy and each producer is allowed to choose freely what to sell and how to produce it, the market will settle on a product distribution and prices that are beneficial to all the individual members of a community, and hence to the community as a whole. The reason for this is that greed will drive actors to beneficial behavior.

During the election period, the college is divided into three groups. One of them is a massive group A, with little scope of individual thought process and they mostly follow the crowd (a classic case of recursion in case you haven’t figured that out).
Another is a comparatively smaller group B (split into further smaller groups B1, B2 so on) also with little scope of individual thought process however a little more persuasive. Mathematically (and ideally) speaking, it’s a many to many-many (or presumably two way) communication process where these smaller groups go around convincing the larger groups by giving them logical and seemingly obvious reasons to support them in all their endeavours. Experts in this domain also claim that this results in some sort of “My candidate, my family” feeling.

Apart from this there also exists a blimp C, which comprises of n people (n<10)Nazgul. They trot this dystopian earth with a strong sense of conviction. This attitude is evident from the following two points witnessed by those who aren’t of kin and are confronted or cornered by them:

• Expressionless faces
• A copy of Orwell's Nineteen Eighty Four in the vicinity

They sometimes receive sympathy during dire times in the form of “It’s a dutty job but someone’s gotta do it” and condolences in the form of gtalk status messages.

Now the seriousness that Bhattacharya talks of is basically oozing from the interactions that these three groups have with one another. By themselves, they are informal and a factory of rumours (often witty and scandalous and sometimes sick) and jibes, but in presence of foreign company, this wit and humour is replaced by:

• Jargon and Threat (if the interaction is between C and A)

• Constitutional talk and Jargon and Threat (if the interaction is between B and C)

• Reassurance and concern (if the interaction is between B and A)

(Reminder: Associative property might not be applicable here)

Mr Bhattacharya’s proposal to entertain a more informal election process in BITS can easily be implemented if action can be taken to ensure that the formal relation between these three groups be dissolved.

This can be easily achieved. All that remains is for the following points to be implemented:

• The use of animals for campaigning purposes should be made permissible.

• Merchandise promoting a candidate should be allowed, this can include caps, tees, sports bras et al

• Utilise the Department of Photography for generating campaigning budget. It is almost inhuman to expect the campaigning to proceed on such a shoestring budget. Clearly a campaign budget of 1200(or 1500) rupees isn’t sufficient to carry out the campaigning activities.

• Candidates should be allowed their own entrance themes while entering the auditorium. The candidates can also seek the help of the Department of Lights to ensure there is a sound-light coordination. Even in cricket matches such a move has been welcomed by the International Cricket Council(ICC).

• For the entertainment of students and publicity of clubs/departments, they should be allowed to make special ads for the audi debate (save Dpeartment of CCTV). Something similar on the lines of the Superbowl ads.

• Lobbyists should be allowed to defend their candidates in the audi debates.

• For the benefit of A, the group C should actually collaborate with B so as to ensure a steady kayfabe. The very occasional Screwjob has be tolerated.

And above all, during Audi ragging:

Right to free speech should be introduced where the candidates can show their true identity to the audience. It’s sort of tough to do with an elite panel interrogating you and then not letting you speak your mind.

Time Traveler!

With 10 days left for my holidays to end, I decided to give my grand parents, who reside in Jammu, a surprise visit.


But before this, I had to spend five days in Delhi. Oh wait a second. Guess I made a geographical faux pas. I had to spend five days in NCR. The need for the correction is immense. From a traveler’s point of view, NCR provides quite an experience. Oh and do add the budget constraint as well as the inclement weather to the melting pot.

Having stayed in Hyderabad for most of my life, I have to say that traveling has never occupied a major portion of my day. The reason for this is because Hyderabad is quite a small city and commuting doesn't really take much time. Its only after spending time in Delhi and neighboring agglomeration that I have discovered what "taking time" really means. My uncle says as I sit there gaping 'Yeah that place is quite close by, just about 9-10 kilometers'

To begin with, Noida has too much crime and Gurgaon has too many rich people. Also, due to the latter, commuting in Gurgaon without your own vehicle is just impossible. Cabs are expensive (as would be the case in any city), cycle rickshaws show too much attitude and take an eternity to reach even the simplest of destinations. And the auto rickshaws’ have absolutely no space to sit. Why no space you ask? Because the public transport is so poorly developed that the working class simply unleashes itself upon any and every auto or shared cab it encounters, like hungry hyenas (sometimes, with shovels). Want a 360 degree turn from Gurgaon? Then come to Noida. Here you will encounter cycle rickshaws wallahs encompassing the entire territory, steering their vehicles with finesse. People are also appreciably less “cooler” if you get my drift. And the crime rates soar high with someone being killed every day (to add to that, Noida is quite close to Ghaziabad border). Thankfully I did not know this, so I had no problems while hopping down sector 34 at midnight.


But as always, life moves on in both these cities.


It becomes a real carnival when one has to travel from Noida to Gurgaon and one has angry friends waiting in Gurgaon. The journey is something I am proud of. My cousins in Noida told me that the journey takes around one and a half hours by a direct bus. Guess they forgot to mention a multiplication factor which equals 2 in this case. Guess they also forgot to mention that the bus would leave me in a jungle from where I’d have to take another bus which was as stubborn as a (pardon the cliché) mule.

It just wouldn’t budge.

Oh but it was a disco, with all that testosterone pumped grinding that I got to experience for those 2 hours in the bus. Too bad that I couldn’t enjoy it for I was too busy clutching onto my wallet with one hand and my cell phone with the other. A true test of resilience and patience. The journey has also sharpened my sensory perceptions. I can distinguish between different types of odour (for my sample space is enriched with a wide variety) more efficiently now.
And so as I waited in Gurgaon that evening after meeting my pals, for time to pass, so that I could take a bus from Iffko Chowk to Delhi’s interstate bus terminus to get my bus to Jammu, I get a call from my mother.

Rishabh, there’s an indefinite curfew in Jammu. You might have to just get
off the bus at Pathankot itself if they seal the border. I’d say reiterate you
trip for the next set of holidays

Sigh! Its 8 in the evening and I’m stranded in Gurgaon. And have 5 more days to spend here.


Photo source: http://chronicleofmylife.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/delhi-bus1.jpg

Lets go Clubbin'

The water coolers are one of the premier hubs to ascertain any activity that's happening on campus. So much so that during the cultural and technical festivals there's a serious space problem and a cold war takes place where every club/association tries to strategically place their posters so as to clearly block the viewers vantage point and distort it to their advantage.

As I finished gulping down the cold water, half of which was splashed onto my hirsute face, splitting further into numerous tributaries, I stare at the wall which is filled with posters of quizzes and talks and meets but one such poster caught my eye.

It was about a club called TRENDZ. A club meant for "designin".

In my two years at BITS I have seen quite a few clubs emerge out of no where. Started with a tech boom catering to the ever increasing needs of Open source disciples who came up with BLUC( BITS Linux Users Club), though I did hear a rumour of another BLIC(BITS Linux Installation club) coming to surface.

Then came the environmentalists and the social entrepreneurs and we had MY INDIA aka Nirmaan aka Bharat Nirman Sankalp, aka you get the idea, set up a year before I came. From what I have heard, they have also set up camp at a lot of other places and generally help in social service and having tutorials for people in and around Pilani as well donating clothes to needy, something I got to know after seeing their propaganda-esque posters. Also was the emergence of bigger brand names such as Rotaract, a club that after some difficulty with the administration finally took off. Their modus operandi is to find innovative ways to create awareness amongst BITSians, mainly on environmental issues, be this through panel discussions, acoustic jams or open air documentaries.

Wall Street Club(WSC) of BITS-Pilani took off right under my nose, as one of my friends was (then) a core member of the club, and they basically wanted to foster the spirit of making money and introduce the n00bs as well as the pro into the world of business through late night skype sessions and even investing in mutual funds(the first of its kinds)

And then came Symposiarch, a club that has an active collaboration with the Languages Group of BITS Pilani. Comprising of a wide variety of people, they wanted people to speak out and from what I hear "wanted a platform where people could speak their mind through debates and group discussions, which would in the later future also help them in their GD/PI". The latest on their list is the Koffee with Karan version of BITS creatively called While the Coffee lasts.

These are amongst the lucky few that took off. Yet there were many which couldn't, which I am surely assuming had nothing to do with what they stood for. I strongly feel that its about time that BITS actually need an official Peacock Surveying Society or a Blue Cross or a Collectors Club.

With more clubs coming up this surely gives the students more opportunity to choose from and definitely makes it easier for the administration purposes. A student who wants to pursue something now has many choices to choose from instead of just on centralized clubs, instead now there are 5 centralized clubs. It also surely helps during festivals, where all the clubs need to host their events. More events obviously mean more people winning (for most of the events are clashing with something or the other and hence there can't be the same winner) which will surely boost the morale of the average junta who are anyways depressed with academics.

Gone only...

Remember the chatter about the OBC/SC/ST quota last year. The row which made Arjun Singh into an instant villan and increased the number of hits belonging to his name by a crore-fold. Well, there have been some updates to the whole issue. And they're pretty SHOCKING. The supreme court today gave a nod to the 27% of seats to be given away as charity to the OBC's.
According to Rediff News:

A five-judge Constitution bench cleared the Central Educational Institutions (Reservation in Admission) Act, 2006 providing for the quota, by a unanimous verdict...The verdict came on a bunch of petitions by anti-quota activists challenging the Act. They vehemently opposed government's move saying caste cannot be the starting point for identifying backward classes. The inclusion of creamy layer in the reservation policy was also questioned by the anti-quota petitioners.

Well seriously speaking for all the brouhaha about how the nation's population majorly falls into the above mentioned categories, its tough to accept the fact that most of the people giving the JEE belong to the backward classes. Its also tough to accept the fact that when you go to write the JEE, one of the most competitive exams our country has to offer ( though it has become relatively easier), you're basically fighting for just half the seats, which to begin with aren't a substantial amount.

This decision is going to be implemented from the 2008-2009 academic year across the IIT's, IIM's and other government colleges.

The IIM's are going to be the ones losing the most. Seriously the top management institute in Asia cannot have half the seats( which are around a thousand to begin with) going away by reservations. But from what I know, the reservation factor in IIM's comes only once the candidate has cleared CAT, which makes it a somewhat better process as compared to the "easy" way that seems to be case in the JEE.

I guess now the best thing to do would be to switch on the TV. Every channel will be showing the protests and there will be panel discussions and probably some hunger strikes I suppose as well. This will be followed by satires, editorials and what not. The government is really going to get it this time.

Also, I can almost count the number of seconds before I see every person on my gtalk list change his status message to "Proud to be a BITSian". As proud as I am about my institution, I feel this is a concern for all Indians.

On open letters

Enough open letters written by bloggers are surfacing the internet these days. Letters to celebrities and politicians, letters about decisions been taken, mistakes been made, letters about what could-have-been. Letters from people with strong opinions and who probably even share a concern.

Hawkeye had an interesting article the other day on his blog where he shares his opinion on Open letters.

They Suck.

I have written one (or two) in my blog. I now feel very ashamed about it. Every open letter I read makes me cringe. Open Letters are usually defined as letters read by everyone else except the intended recipient. Mainly because the writer does not have the ‘vakku’/ is not important enough to attract the attention of the intended recipient.

I couldn’t agree more. Having seen enough open letters on the World Wide Web, I can safely assume that the people, to whom the letter is directed, seldom get to read it. These include our esteemed politicians, law makers or any authority. Open letters are more of a vent post than anything else. The satisfaction of typing ones thoughts down in a rather “in-your-face” manner more often than not, is compensation enough and no further effort is made to ensure that the open letter reaches the person it is intended to reach. At best, it receives comments from friends, fellow bloggers, stumblers and random passers who share the concern, and sometimes even generates enough publicity to uplift the blogger to than status of an “activist” but nothing more.

Open letters could also perhaps be an interesting way to generate more publicity for your blog. Apart from that it probably also boosts the writers ego. I mean, obviously, if a letter written by you generates 30 comments, most of which are a positive pat on the back, you would obviously consider your job done, even if the person the letter was directed to was sipping orange juice, completely oblivious to the fact that somewhere in some corner of the world wide web there exists a letter directed to him/her.

An open letter can only work if its the other way around. If a famous person addresses it to a group of people, like Steve Jobs’ letter to Ipod users, or Abdul Kalam’s letter to kids of high schools. For a blogger to get his point across to someone important, either the open letter has to receive a lot of media publicity or maybe he/she has to look for an alternative. Obama Girl anyone? If not that then maybe in the official forums of a company which has responsive moderators who will give a damn about your opinions. Another way might be through letters to editorials of popular dailies (for chances are they’re more popular and read by a larger diverse group than your blog).

Mirrored at Mutiny.in

Un-social networking

After seeing my Linkedin profile one day, a friend of mine asked me:
“Dude why are you on this website?

I gave him the best answer to my capabilities:
“It’s a professional social network. It helps me maintain relations with other like minded professionals and helps in networking. Isn’t that sort of self explanatory?”

He retorts: “But how has this ever helped you?”

I shot back: “Well, so far it hasn’t to any significant extent but it will later, hopefully.”

This really got to him.

“Dude Rishabh! You know I am sick and tired of Social Networking. Seriously man! Orkut was bad enough and then finally when I got off my lazy tushy and signed up for Orkut, I realised I was a tad bit too late for it for all my friends were now on Facebook.”

Facebook, ah, the plight of so many of us. With its never ending applications and it “uncluttered” look, why it would irk me so much, I wonder.

He added, “And now there’s a professional networking site, Jesus man.”

He continued, “You know what I want to do Rishabh? I want to make an un-social network. You know, what’s the point in doing something that everyone’s doing? I want to innovate. So here’s what I propose: Just leave social networking. Anyone can make friends there. It’s futile. What’s cool is that I give you a month’s time and hundred real life friends and you have to lose them all. Piss them off; ignore them, anything, but after a month I don’t want to see any of their filthy faces in your friends list. Now that seems like something a Venture Capital should be willing to seed. That’s what I am talking about.”

Catch them Young

There was an interesting proposal (which clearly started off as a rant against the system) which my friend concocted as we were talking about the pros and cons of Indian education.

The bulk recruiters ( you know who you are), who visit campuses in huge Volvo buses and simply engulf the students with arms wide open and snatch away a sizable portion of the population only to dump them into their cramped workspace, my friend had an idea for these guys.

For most (almost all) of these companies, the only prerequisite (if any) is that the candidate must be aware of basic C programming and can to a certain extent speak English. And oh yes, pass off that rigorous aptitude test they so carefully set ages to make.

My friend proposes that they should instead hire students (read outsource) directly from the tenth standard (or at the most 12th) for by then the student is highly comfortable with C, C++, HTML etc. I don’t think that the folks at my college who made it to these companies ever learned anything beyond the school syllabus, or even if they did, it’s certainly of no use to the company. The aptitude tests? Surely, a tenth grade student has a better chance at cracking them for he’s a seasoned problem solver (thanks to various comics and dailies). This way the companies can heavily cut down on the costs and also get most of their work done. Students can then learn the other stuff (such as Java and other computer languages) while on the job or can opt for technical courses.
The companies can approach the school authorities formally or ask the bloke in the administrative unit for the student roster (a transaction would take place obviously), quite similar to what web2.0/Insurance companies are using banks for. Or they can even hold their tests on one of the hazaar Sundays in a little hall down the street.
After four years of education if you are going to end up in one of these companies doing the same thing that you learned while in school, then why not go for it right after school?
The point being that the bus companies (for that’s what they truly are) know what they’re looking for, so then why not start off at the grassroot level?

Posted simultaneously on Mutiny.in

You can enter anytime you like, but you can never leave

The social networking websites bombarded the internet as we entered the new millennium and have being continuing to do so till date. First it was Orkut which made the public go mad (at least in Swadesh) but that was until the cleaner and sleeker Facebook arrived. Just as how there was a social class created amongst the social networking sites in the US where the educated University going people migrated to Facebook from the ubiquitous Myspace, where every layman had an account.

That was the past.

The future is a nightmare.

Facebook is as cluttered as a college going student’s room. It’s got a list of hazaar applications. It’s just the most irritating thing on the planet. It’s got a widget for everything and I mean everything. I get a million quizzes a day which will compare my performance to the three hundred pals’ of mine and then analyse them. Facebook has been minting a lot of money from these. So once you’re fed up of this you think to yourself that I just want to get out of this mess and so you deactivate your account. But here’s the catch: deactivating your account doesn’t delete your profile, which still exists on Facebook’s servers. Quitting it isn’t as easy as you’d have thought. The manual process makes you sweat more that you’d have at those cricket coaching sessions. As this article rightly says:

Mr. Das — who described his plight by quoting lyrics from the Eagles song “Hotel California” that say, “You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave” — has found himself cast as an unlikely mascot for disgruntled Facebook users. Several of them have found his empty profile and sent him messages, “ranging from Eagles song quotes to those of support,” he said.

I joined Facebook out of sheer peer pressure. Everyday I’d check my inbox and what would greet me were five new messages from my contacts from Orkut asking me to join Facebook. When I finally did, I realised that I had way too many contacts on Orkut, so now I had to accept all those guys all over again and has to confirm how I was connected to them and anticipate their writings on my wall.
I compelled to start-up with a social community meant for people who are sick of all the other communities.

Posted simultaneously at Mutiny.in

Small talk

There's a wheel that keeps rolling. Most of us relate it to joys and sorrows, or rather still, good and evil and so on. Truth is, it encompasses everything, it's just that the spotlight is cast when a particular feature transcends the rest, usually associated with something dramatic. Another rather peculiar observation is that people who claim to be atheists, agnostic and spiritual-not religious also quite regularly use the phrase "Oh god!", "omfg", "For god's sake". The last one of the lot being my favorite for it portrays human nature oh so well.

This week if plotted on a graph sheet, satisfaction versus date, would give a x(power n) function. Hopefully, it continues this way.

The first cycle of the great test fest has come to a temporary halt, with the second innings about to commence in a short while which should give just about enough time to take a bath.
Also, summer is inching closer. I can already spot kutcha clad boys roaming the streets of the campus, welcoming the cool breeze into their groins.

Now for the main news:
WOOHOO!
WOOHOO!

I am going to Singapore to represent BITS -Pilani in the IMS Quotient 2008. The semi finals will be hosted there. We're amongst the top 8 teams out of more than 5000 teams all over India who took part in the contest. Lots of prizes up for grabs. Hopefully we'll put on a good show there as well. This week is going to be expensive, with all those assured treats that I have to give.

Air Deccan has been revamped with red.

The seats are now non-reclining. Its written so on the seats with a dash of politeness lest some horny Sardarji engages in kushti with it, thinking that it's got stuck. Obviously, the rest of us too couldn't figure it out by ourselves.

Free mineral water bottles are being supplied.

Finally something thats free on this airline. You'd think that this sudden benevolence was almost pity. Earlier one had to ask for water, which according to them was common sense for one will only drink water when one is thirsty right?

They're also awfully efficient. The tea sachet that expires six months after its been sealed just has to be disposed off the plane during the last few days of its supposed life. So what if it tastes of marijuana(do I see eyes widening with anticipation?)? It's technically still tea.

And obviously three people can't all be reading the in flight magazine at once. So one for three shall suffice.

But just when you'd think that where's the difference you notice an obvious difference You're actually allotted seat number now! You don't have to risk your life in a stampede anymore.

Ok enough cynicism

Seriously, its tough to control a boner. The Kingfisher hostesses have taken over.

Cyberoam is the latest tamasha at college these days.
The authorities have recently come up with this new method to piss students off. All the sites have been classified under various genres and at any given time only some of those genres are active( and at some time none are active). This resulted in some awkward moments for the institute where they were confronted by students who complained that they couldn't open the college website. Snapshots of the webpage were circulated through the LAN.
The situation right now has "improved". The hidden sarcasm because well, though cyberoam has marginally reduced, the pages take forever to load. Each page needs to be refreshed i( i>15) times. I suppose this is part of some holy programme to impart the virtue of patience amongst students. Though the consequences of this may be the loss of the F5 key in all computers before the end of semester and an induced case of Tourettes Syndrome.

This Week:

All thanks to Krishnan(for informing me about it), I won a 255 bucks Gift voucher from Odyssey( a book store in Hyderabad) for winning a quiz competition organised by the Hyderabad Quiz Club. The guy who partnered me, I don't quite remembered his name has to be the best quizzer in Hyderabad, all his guesses were hitting the bulls eye. JK's team came second( he was the quizmaster for OHT 07). Perfect way to end my stay in Hyderabad.

HP was unleashed and well...all who have read the book will agree with me when I say that well....we all sorta guessed the end didn't we?( barring a few flashbacks comprising the climax) and serious Albus Severus? Won't he be taunted by his little wizard buddies!

Pune seems to be one stop congregation of all urban college going junta. They seriously have an excess of them. They seem to be haunting every nook and cranny, infesting their wretched souls upon every kiosk, every counter, every table. Honestly, if you ever feel the absence of bright tee and dark jeans clad youth(especially feminine), you know where to head too.
Another thing about Pune, it acts like a slow poison with a burning after taste. The moment you land there(airport), you are greeted by lush greenery. Every hue of green is snugly arranged and it makes for a great viewing. A drive though this bio reserve is truly spectacular and then the reality rams up that tiny little orifice in your buttocks! People drive here to kill! The roads are magnificently adorned by extra deposits of tar which gives one an excuse to miss those rides in the amusement park. The not-so-lucky ones' tyres get stuck in the strategically located depressions. The perfect killjoy!
Pune is like the kid that wanted to be cool, but sorta lost his money.
But then there's a bright side to pune as well, they have some real nice eateries. Lovely bakeries that serve delectable savories. The cops are friendly. They are, atleast to a boy whom they catch sandwiched between two attractive women( he isn't aware that they are his cousins and wouldn't believe it either) at midnight, letting him go without any corporal punishment or sexual impairment( and no fine).
By convention every street MUST have an institution either spiritual or educational in nature catering to a medium or small proportion of people( some of which have to be foreigners, also by convention).
They have an amusing conversion system when it comes to autorickshaws, bodmas is extensively applied.
Conclusion:Pune is better than a lot of other places.

While in Pune, I also got to watch DIE HARD 4.0

The movie has to be the dumbest action flick I have seen. Okay Okay, I know that might have been like a massive slap across the moobs of you macho men but I can' help it. But hey, I never said it was a bad movie. It was very good, good in the sense that at any point of time, some one could walk into the hall and start watching the movie and yet not feel as though he's missed anything substantial. Computer genius not getting due credit for his mastermind project decides that its payback time and tries to bring the nation to a halt and cause a firesale. Wow! That's uber original!
Bruce Willis has done a commendable job in beating the cyber criminals( a chinki assasin included) to pulp, without even hurting his fists.I still feel the movie has been given tooo much hype, I'd watch Con-Air anyday.

And now in Delhi. its 2.34 AM and the people I want, aren't online. Might not update for a few days, or maybe the next post directly from Pilani.

Cya all there!

Shock!

So when was the last time you were in a situation that actually motivated you to call yourself a “chutiya”? (Roughly translated to dickhead)

The other day I was trotting about the house in my usual tumultuous ways, as is common to bored blokes with a lot of sugar clotting their blood, when my eyes fell upon a piece of paper. It was neatly folded, characteristic of an official letter, more so of the most dreaded of them all. Bill.

It had BSNL etched on it and from the moment I laid my eyes upon in, my heart started to beat faster. And the blood circulation cut short (if you get my drift). I inched closer, slowly, thus creating a pseudo slow-motion moment with my arms extended and longing to tear that seal and get over with it.

Oh, I was no fool (or fu as my brothers from the ghetto would like calling it). I knew very well that the bill was going to be quite a handsome sum, which would make its way to the hardworking people in the PSU: BSNL. I gulped couple of imaginary snot balls down my throat before unleashing the demon upon me.

And then I did it. I was enlightened.

It wasn’t a demon.

IT WAS SATAN HIMSELF.

From then onwards I was convinced that the number of the beast wasn’t 666 and was indeed the number that I had my eyes transfixed on: 9850.60 (The devil deserves accuracy up to two decimal places as well). 9850.60, approximately 10K bucks! How does one get that? How is that even possible? Seriously, it makes for excellent conversation material. I mean who wouldn’t take notice of a guy who blew up 10K on his phone bill.

Surely there had to be a miscalculation. Surely! It just seemed like such a travesty considering that we’re a struggling third world nation (errm…lets suppose we are, it’s my blog, ergo, I get to make the assumptions). Where was the god-damn concession? As I were to realize after heavy scrutinizing of the bill on numerous occasions and from various angles, the kind folks at BSNL did cut down on a lot of money before kindly passing on the bill to our household.

The real blow was to come once I saw the break-up stats. It wasn’t the phone bill exactly that sky-rocketed the bill. The phone bill didn’t even cause a collateral damage (It was responsible for about one tenth of the entire bill). It was the Internet. The underdogs, the whore, the vamp, give it whatever name you want to. I felt mugged and raped if not both. 7000 bucks! Who does that? That’s ludicrous! Can you keep a straight face while publicly telling people that you spent seven grand on internet without breaking into a guffaw(even more so lest you end up farting simultaneously). How does one achieve that? Then the memories exploded. 150 videos on Youtube, constant Orkutting, endless Wiki-ing, tireless browsing, updates, blogs, more blogs. Science, Business, Tech, Movies, Filth Diaries, more business. Never log out of the Gtalk, so much so that people started to doubt whether I had exchanged my real identity for a virtual one and was leading a life on the web. BSNL had given me 2500 free MB of upload/download limit, plus free usage during 2-8 AM( which they called Happy Hours, clichéd yet true), which came to around 3000 MB. Despite all these goodies I used another 8K MB (obviously during the day) which cost me around 7K dosh, thus accounting for a lion’s share of the humongous amount.

I had trouble meeting my father’s eye that night. I thought I’d get a lecture from the folks about how I’ve lost the focus in life and they might even speculate "moaning Danish pornstars" to be somehow involved in this affair. They might go on about how when they were my age there was no such distraction to occupy their time and hence they are where they are today and I am 90 Kilos. Instead, Dad was quite bemused to see his son stare at his toes with ardent interest as though it was the most interesting thing in the vicinity. Clearly he hadn’t seen the bill. But that day would come too…and pretty soon.

Some thoughts!

It’s there in the last spasm of a dying musk deer, the last breath of schools of fish trapped under oil spills, the diminishing numbers of migratory birds, the rapidly vanishing habitat of the giant panda.

It’s the cry of the earth. Can you hear it?

Do your bit. Save our planet. Please. Time is running out...

As I finished reading this I felt an intense rush of emotions. My fingers clenched and I stared blankly at the screen.

How many times have we heard this?

We all like to pretend that we care for our planet. And who knows? Maybe in some chamber deep inside our wretched mind, we actually do. But let’s be realistic.

Most of us simply don’t want to bother.

We feel that since we wont live to see the end of the world (unless WWIII decides to spoil the party) why bother? Or better, our pessimism leads us to believe that there’s nothing we can do. This belief generally comes from the environment around us. We see a friend of ours throwing the chips packet he just devoured on the streets. We see clusters of men letting loose (if you know what I mean) on the same wall that has ‘Plis don’t pass urine’ scribbled shabbily. And as time passes we truly feel that “it’s too late”.

A friend of mine who was sitting for a branch allocation counseling told me that his father found people still pursuing Petro Engineering rather amusing since in another 2-3 decades time there wouldn't be much petroleum left in the world to use.

Honestly speaking (and correct me if I’m wrong), saving the earth doesn’t feature in our top priority list. But every time the issue springs up, depending upon how it’s presented to us (especially if creative clips are shown every 2 minutes in between a mega concert), we all become environmentally charged. Sadly, this enthu disappears almost as quickly as it is aroused.

But as long as we’re charged we feel that we can make a difference (do I hear trumpets in the background?). But wouldn’t dedicate our selves to some on ground activity, instead we believe in the power of the exponents.

Little things, if initiated by a lot of people can shake the world

Ah yes! How many times have I heard that? But the sad part is even the little things like walking down to the store instead of zooming on a motorbike or using natural perfumes instead of aerosol sprays seem like too much of a bother beyond a certain point.

You know what the real problem is? It’s not smoke, its not money, its not greed. Its convenience!

It’s more convenient to blog about the issue and comfort ourselves reminding that “we’ve enlightened the public” than actually get off our lazy bum and switch off the fan that’s running, and open the windows to let the fresh monsoon breeze in.

We do what is convenient to us. We let the tap run because one hand is navigating the brush and the other hand is scratching the buttocks. We don’t switch off the lights after leaving the room because we’ve already locked the door. Now who’s going to unlock the door? Bah!

I remember myself, long ago. I was so supercharged after visiting a recycling plant that I stopped using notebooks for doing my rough work. I’d use the newspaper to scribble some formulae or note down our fundamental duties. I did that for almost two years. I guess as we grow up we come to face with the harsh reality (or so we feel) and realize that we’re helpless. Kids don’t feel that since they’re still in that imaginative world where everything is still possible and can be turned around.

At least I don’t feel like a hypocrite.

P.s: Nil dear, this post wasn't directed at you all. Remember the chat we had last night? This is just a vent post.

Decc@n Chronicle

For those who have not come face to face with this phenomenon, I present to you Exhibit A. It's ad campaigns are flawless, with tag lines sporting "78% of the trendy middle class people who own a scooter read DC"
Isn't that just so splendid? It rules the plateau with its massive sales.
Every now and then(more often than not), they come up with these advantageous snippets. Have a look here

Now shouldn’t I just thank my stars for that serendipitous encounter while I was browsing the net?

Travel Bag. How convenient. I would’ve never thought about that because I am generally too busy being the brand ambassador of jute by sporting gunny bags to carry my stuff.

It is imperative to sport a clean, handsome look when you are holidaying.

Oh really? Coz the last we all checked our office dress code, being sloven and covered with muck fetched us brownie points.

Also, its terribly interesting how mp3 player/walkman/cellphone has been conveniently replaced by the ubiquious iPod.

Do check out the sports blog Pavilion Seat. Its being regularly updated!( wink wink)

Memories...

I was cleaning my room and found my old answer scripts. I always made it a point to preserve them, especially the English ones. After the initial splash of nostalgia came the agony. Going through those answer scripts I realized how the teachers meticulously took advantage of our naivety and our gullibility became our vice.

Can you imagine the amount of B.S they fed us while at school? And some of us were indoctrinated so effectively that we continue to believe some of that crap till date.

Remember those essays on the merits and demerits of the Television. I’m sure all of you wrote those essays, and more often than not wrote the same points albeit in a different style. Allow me to butcher them one by one.

TV lets us know what’s happening around the globe. The news and the Discovery channel along with other informative channels like the history channel and NatGeo increase our knowledge base.

Honestly, in the sixth standard most of us weren’t even attracted to the opposite sex, leave alone consider the use of knowledge as a probable weapon in wooing them. At this age, for the majority of us the daily happenings of the political scenario of Palestine didn’t interest us much (I’m not sure how many of us are even interested today). Nor did we really care about the extent to which the Alps beautified Switzerland. And the only reason we might watch the Animal Planet would’ve been because we found the sounds they made funny. We were too busy playing with our friends or joining some classes which would enhance our inborn traits.

We should watch TV with caution because we may get hooked on to it. It also causes harm to our eyes.

Okay, now who the hell started this one? It’s the BIGGEST hoax of our time. Watching too much TV from up close will make you myopic or astigmatic or something like that. Let me clear you of your dilemma, IT DOESN’T HAPPEN! It’s been scientifically proven that kids who are subjected to strain work (to the eyes) such as reading, TV, Computers are at a much higher risk of getting spectacles. However this effect takes place only when their eyes are developing, a process that ceases after 6-7 years of age. So this means that at 11 years of age, you can stay up all night with a packet of chip(s) and commit sins.

Leave the habit, don’t be ignorant!

TV makes us couch potatoes.

So does sitting on a chair from 9 AM to 3 PM with minimum break time and staring at a black rectangle (which might have become green and made of fiber at some places). But we can’t reduce the time at school now, can we? Oh now don’t give me crap saying that there are “games” periods, those are like twice in a week. Are you kidding me?

Somehow using TV for entertainment purposes was considered as a sin according to higher authorities. As if watching Friends was like taking a mural of a deity and smashing it to pieces and two movies back to back was a feat achieved only by the spoilt and delinquent.

Conclusion: The emphasis on writing an idealistic (idealistic according to the society by large) answer scripts (faultily termed as flawless) supercedes the thinking power. Though the teachers at the beginning of any writing activity say that try to be original and creative, they seldom mean it. This is because many of them truly believe in all those aforementioned points. Also students seldom feel rebellious when it comes to writing an essay and would much rather go with the general perceptions of things. So let me go ahead and blame the system, for its always easier to lay the blame on something else, right?

First and foremost let me apologize for the small picture, this is the maximum it would stretch, so for those who dont have a 6/6 or something close, its going to be a struggle.

Right, coming to the point!

INDIA-TODAY has done it again! Time and time it manages to piss people off with its surveys which has the opinions of 400 teachers(atleast it was the last time I checked). Their tiff with BITS hasnt yet been resolved and well their rankings without a doubt are pretty fucked up.

What is surprising is the inclusion of VIT at the number 14th spot, thus making it(as they claim on their website), the best private engineering college in India. Being a Bitsian, I would love to give the VIT publicity dept. a piece of my mind, if the authorities decided to step up to me.

What is also surprising is by how much the Outlook and India Today Survey differ, every year. I remember last year Thapar College(TIET), Patiala crept through every ranking onto a coveted 8-9th position and this year its name hasnt even been mentioned in the top 25. Can a college really fare that badly in just one year? And can VIT which was at 35 something last year become the best Private college of this nation of a billion?

IIIT-A ahead of IIIT-H? Seriously? IT-BHU at 18? And since when was IIIT-A's reputation better than that of DCE or NIT-W and other biggies?

Are the chaps at India Today(and AC Nielson) really putting in effort while coming up with the rankings? Year after year, we see the rankings where the top 5-6 spots are taken by the IITs arranged in a random order, and the other spots keep shuffling like a deck of cards. Its been 5 years and seriously they cannot take the public for granted anymore. Many people tend to swear by the ratings because they feel that since INDIA TODAY is a credible magazine, the rankings will also adhere to those standards. I havnt seen this years Nasscom Survey which appears in the OUTLOOK magazine yet, so I guess the cussing regarding that should take some time.

P.S: If you notice all the categorial ranks you'll see that they form a nice pattern, at least in the case of IIT's and also NIT-T etc.