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tribute to XKCD

Here's my tribute to one of my favorite webcomics. This is something I came up with while in my Measurement Techniques lab.

On open letters

Enough open letters written by bloggers are surfacing the internet these days. Letters to celebrities and politicians, letters about decisions been taken, mistakes been made, letters about what could-have-been. Letters from people with strong opinions and who probably even share a concern.

Hawkeye had an interesting article the other day on his blog where he shares his opinion on Open letters.

They Suck.

I have written one (or two) in my blog. I now feel very ashamed about it. Every open letter I read makes me cringe. Open Letters are usually defined as letters read by everyone else except the intended recipient. Mainly because the writer does not have the ‘vakku’/ is not important enough to attract the attention of the intended recipient.

I couldn’t agree more. Having seen enough open letters on the World Wide Web, I can safely assume that the people, to whom the letter is directed, seldom get to read it. These include our esteemed politicians, law makers or any authority. Open letters are more of a vent post than anything else. The satisfaction of typing ones thoughts down in a rather “in-your-face” manner more often than not, is compensation enough and no further effort is made to ensure that the open letter reaches the person it is intended to reach. At best, it receives comments from friends, fellow bloggers, stumblers and random passers who share the concern, and sometimes even generates enough publicity to uplift the blogger to than status of an “activist” but nothing more.

Open letters could also perhaps be an interesting way to generate more publicity for your blog. Apart from that it probably also boosts the writers ego. I mean, obviously, if a letter written by you generates 30 comments, most of which are a positive pat on the back, you would obviously consider your job done, even if the person the letter was directed to was sipping orange juice, completely oblivious to the fact that somewhere in some corner of the world wide web there exists a letter directed to him/her.

An open letter can only work if its the other way around. If a famous person addresses it to a group of people, like Steve Jobs’ letter to Ipod users, or Abdul Kalam’s letter to kids of high schools. For a blogger to get his point across to someone important, either the open letter has to receive a lot of media publicity or maybe he/she has to look for an alternative. Obama Girl anyone? If not that then maybe in the official forums of a company which has responsive moderators who will give a damn about your opinions. Another way might be through letters to editorials of popular dailies (for chances are they’re more popular and read by a larger diverse group than your blog).

Mirrored at Mutiny.in

Summertime

Summer is going to be very interesting. Compared to the lethargy that ruled last year's summer, this summer will hopefully be action packed.

First off, if the guys at the passport office don't mistake me for a criminal, I shall be packing my bags off to Cairo for 4 days. It'll be awesomeness beyond awesomeness.

Also, trips to Goa and Bangalore are being planned as I write this entry.

And the Practice School system, viz is compulsory internship for BITSians after they complete their second year, their results are out. I am so happy that I got it in Hyderabad. And what more? Chances are they give stipend as well. Probably one of the very few who do. The station is Ratna Infrastructure.

Some other plans also under wraps for this summer. Plan to get more involved and active this time around.

Here's to an eventful summer.

Un-social networking

After seeing my Linkedin profile one day, a friend of mine asked me:
“Dude why are you on this website?

I gave him the best answer to my capabilities:
“It’s a professional social network. It helps me maintain relations with other like minded professionals and helps in networking. Isn’t that sort of self explanatory?”

He retorts: “But how has this ever helped you?”

I shot back: “Well, so far it hasn’t to any significant extent but it will later, hopefully.”

This really got to him.

“Dude Rishabh! You know I am sick and tired of Social Networking. Seriously man! Orkut was bad enough and then finally when I got off my lazy tushy and signed up for Orkut, I realised I was a tad bit too late for it for all my friends were now on Facebook.”

Facebook, ah, the plight of so many of us. With its never ending applications and it “uncluttered” look, why it would irk me so much, I wonder.

He added, “And now there’s a professional networking site, Jesus man.”

He continued, “You know what I want to do Rishabh? I want to make an un-social network. You know, what’s the point in doing something that everyone’s doing? I want to innovate. So here’s what I propose: Just leave social networking. Anyone can make friends there. It’s futile. What’s cool is that I give you a month’s time and hundred real life friends and you have to lose them all. Piss them off; ignore them, anything, but after a month I don’t want to see any of their filthy faces in your friends list. Now that seems like something a Venture Capital should be willing to seed. That’s what I am talking about.”

Pranks at BITS

Though the pranks played here at BITS-Pilani might not match to the extravagant and elaborate hoaxes at MIT, on the occasion of the April Fool's Day, the students here decided to have a little harmless fun which well didn't involve any vandalism but certainly helped pop a vein.

Sometime around 12, a lot of my friends' gtalk status message changed to 'Bangalore' or 'Agilent NOIDA Yesss....' This immediately grabbed my attention for this could only mean one thing. The list of the Practice School Station ( the compulsory summer internship a student has to undergo after his 2nd year at BITS-Pilani and Goa campuses). Since most of these people on my list were unknown to each other I thought that obviously the results would have been out and quick;y asked all of them what the link was. They instead said that they'd be more than happy to tell me what station I had got. This was where my suspicion started and was strengthened by the fact that the PS website working( it would have broken down had the results been declared from the overflow) and well obviously had no links to the result.

I guess now that this is done, all I can do is wait for the Google Prank to be put up.

On faith

...Swearing to God was the ultimate act. If you swore to God and it turned out that you were wrong, even by accident, even just a little, you still had to go to hell. That was just the rule and God didn't bend that rule for anybody. So the moment you said it in any context you started to feel uneasy in case some part of it turned out to be slightly incorrect...

-Bill Bryson, The Thunderbolt Kid

Travel Woes

This is how things are supposed to work.

When a businessman is diversifying his empire after having monumental success with his existing ventures, and the newer ventures also cater to more or less the same audience, and on top of that he builds personal relations with these customers and adds that ‘you-are-doing-business-with family’ feeling, or the even more popular, ‘I’d-rather-die-than-double-cross-you’ attitude, after a point of time you fall for it and hope that it works out for the best.

And then you realise that he is instead outsourcing his work from people who clearly don’t look like they’d win the credibility award. Still, you expect that the deal would be satisfactory since his being involved gives it some sort of credibility (if not certification).I am obviously talking about the hawker outside my hostel that’s running a taxi service, a food stall amongst other activities.

What you certainly don’t expect is to get off from your flight and having to search half and hour with your luggage for your cab whose driver is conveniently sleeping and has parked the car in the most mathematically distant spot. Also what you don’t expect, is to be greeted to the intoxicated aroma of his guzzle-fest and possible debauchery and for your own good beg to the one up there that its all to do with the previous trip.Once the driver opens his eyes, your suspicion is strengthened for that’s the deepest hue of red you’ve ever seen. But then come on you could be just over-reaction. The poor chap just got up from his sleep, what do you expect?He opens his mouth and your assumption is validated.

Your pals in the campus few hundred miles away are busy challenging one another to online races, little do they know that your are in a little NFS Death-Guaranteed of your own with last second cuts, screeching sounds and the works. With your heart in your mouth, you tend to ignore little such as “Hey this isn’t the car I booked in the first place. I wanted a Tavera, I got a Sumo” or “It’s the dustiest place in the world, yet the dude want to let down all the windows”.

Every time I make up my mind that I am surely not booking my cabs using this chap and every time I end up doing exactly that.

Suggestive though of the Day

The only grinding I got to experience was in a Delhi Bus to Noida
-Anonymous

Spirit of HOLI

A western song that capture the spirit of Holi in entirety
Purple Haze

Catch them Young

There was an interesting proposal (which clearly started off as a rant against the system) which my friend concocted as we were talking about the pros and cons of Indian education.

The bulk recruiters ( you know who you are), who visit campuses in huge Volvo buses and simply engulf the students with arms wide open and snatch away a sizable portion of the population only to dump them into their cramped workspace, my friend had an idea for these guys.

For most (almost all) of these companies, the only prerequisite (if any) is that the candidate must be aware of basic C programming and can to a certain extent speak English. And oh yes, pass off that rigorous aptitude test they so carefully set ages to make.

My friend proposes that they should instead hire students (read outsource) directly from the tenth standard (or at the most 12th) for by then the student is highly comfortable with C, C++, HTML etc. I don’t think that the folks at my college who made it to these companies ever learned anything beyond the school syllabus, or even if they did, it’s certainly of no use to the company. The aptitude tests? Surely, a tenth grade student has a better chance at cracking them for he’s a seasoned problem solver (thanks to various comics and dailies). This way the companies can heavily cut down on the costs and also get most of their work done. Students can then learn the other stuff (such as Java and other computer languages) while on the job or can opt for technical courses.
The companies can approach the school authorities formally or ask the bloke in the administrative unit for the student roster (a transaction would take place obviously), quite similar to what web2.0/Insurance companies are using banks for. Or they can even hold their tests on one of the hazaar Sundays in a little hall down the street.
After four years of education if you are going to end up in one of these companies doing the same thing that you learned while in school, then why not go for it right after school?
The point being that the bus companies (for that’s what they truly are) know what they’re looking for, so then why not start off at the grassroot level?

Posted simultaneously on Mutiny.in

Marketing Practice

Okay, now I do understand that you need to market your product in order for it to capture the interest of your target audience. And one way the corporates do it is by showing happy people endorsing the product, or rather showing that the people are happy with the product. But seriously, this happy?
He's not won a lottery you know.
Now German wing knows better and they go for the more sober yet cheerful look. The confident smile and the not-so-tight grip on the notebook shows that the man under scrutiny is quite content with the security a Norton Antivirus provides his precious work with. Unlike the ultra ecstatic yuppie on top, the German endorser looks just the type who would lure potential buyers into possessing one of these CD's and not let them have doubts about the products efficiency.

Guess part of it has something to do with all of us being cynics inside. No one can stand someone being too happy with a product ( Which is probably another reason why we just can't stand Linux or Apple users)

Jailbreak

Reminiscent of the Shawshank Redemption, the Chilean Policemen discovered( much to their amusement) a tunnel, equipped with ventilation and noise barriers.

The 279-foot (85-meter) long tunnel resembled an underground mine structure, built with cement and wooden beams and boasting electrical power and carts for hauling away dirt and rock.

Read more

Back

The Singapore trip was a blast indeed. It does feel great when everything has been paid for. Met up with a couple of pals from school. Respect for the SMU and the NTU campuses!

The quiz didn't go too well. We didn't win, but hey, we're getting IPODS which isn't that bad considering the runners up get 3 days in Singapore (we decided to stay 2 extra days there by extending our tickets)

The other teams were great fun, especially BIT-Mesra, IITB and NIT-Trichy.

All said and done, Delhi metro is better than Singapore MRT.

You can enter anytime you like, but you can never leave

The social networking websites bombarded the internet as we entered the new millennium and have being continuing to do so till date. First it was Orkut which made the public go mad (at least in Swadesh) but that was until the cleaner and sleeker Facebook arrived. Just as how there was a social class created amongst the social networking sites in the US where the educated University going people migrated to Facebook from the ubiquitous Myspace, where every layman had an account.

That was the past.

The future is a nightmare.

Facebook is as cluttered as a college going student’s room. It’s got a list of hazaar applications. It’s just the most irritating thing on the planet. It’s got a widget for everything and I mean everything. I get a million quizzes a day which will compare my performance to the three hundred pals’ of mine and then analyse them. Facebook has been minting a lot of money from these. So once you’re fed up of this you think to yourself that I just want to get out of this mess and so you deactivate your account. But here’s the catch: deactivating your account doesn’t delete your profile, which still exists on Facebook’s servers. Quitting it isn’t as easy as you’d have thought. The manual process makes you sweat more that you’d have at those cricket coaching sessions. As this article rightly says:

Mr. Das — who described his plight by quoting lyrics from the Eagles song “Hotel California” that say, “You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave” — has found himself cast as an unlikely mascot for disgruntled Facebook users. Several of them have found his empty profile and sent him messages, “ranging from Eagles song quotes to those of support,” he said.

I joined Facebook out of sheer peer pressure. Everyday I’d check my inbox and what would greet me were five new messages from my contacts from Orkut asking me to join Facebook. When I finally did, I realised that I had way too many contacts on Orkut, so now I had to accept all those guys all over again and has to confirm how I was connected to them and anticipate their writings on my wall.
I compelled to start-up with a social community meant for people who are sick of all the other communities.

Posted simultaneously at Mutiny.in

Dotted

I had two mutually exclusive discussions with Atin ad Saurya where I proposed the following theory.

Dots make a word/statement profound regardless of its intellectual/factual weight.

For example: The word 'Believe'. Suspended by itself, it doesn't really grab your interest nor would you give it another look if you saw it as someone's gtalk status message. But place three dots in front of it and the word suddenly becomes of super dense and profoundly profound. 'Believe...', there's so much hope and power in that word now. It's almost as the revamped version urges the looker to take action and awakens the activist which lives amongst everyone of us. And before you know there's music in the background inspiring you to the brim

Another example: 'God hates us all', well this just sounds like a guy cribbing. Again place the magic dots and voila!

God hates us all...

This would make an atheist out of anyone.

P.S: Heard it through the grapevine that one of the suggestions for the theme of this year's techfest, APOGEE was Soch...think

Ahoy!

After applying to them for the second time, I am finally on board. I like being part of group blogs. This one puts special emphasis on voicing ones opinions. As they themselves say:

"We don't want a 100 word post that ends with a question."

This is going to be fun.

P.S:The link to the site has been put up on the sidebar under the "Contributor subheading"

Small talk

There's a wheel that keeps rolling. Most of us relate it to joys and sorrows, or rather still, good and evil and so on. Truth is, it encompasses everything, it's just that the spotlight is cast when a particular feature transcends the rest, usually associated with something dramatic. Another rather peculiar observation is that people who claim to be atheists, agnostic and spiritual-not religious also quite regularly use the phrase "Oh god!", "omfg", "For god's sake". The last one of the lot being my favorite for it portrays human nature oh so well.

This week if plotted on a graph sheet, satisfaction versus date, would give a x(power n) function. Hopefully, it continues this way.

The first cycle of the great test fest has come to a temporary halt, with the second innings about to commence in a short while which should give just about enough time to take a bath.
Also, summer is inching closer. I can already spot kutcha clad boys roaming the streets of the campus, welcoming the cool breeze into their groins.

Now for the main news:
WOOHOO!
WOOHOO!

I am going to Singapore to represent BITS -Pilani in the IMS Quotient 2008. The semi finals will be hosted there. We're amongst the top 8 teams out of more than 5000 teams all over India who took part in the contest. Lots of prizes up for grabs. Hopefully we'll put on a good show there as well. This week is going to be expensive, with all those assured treats that I have to give.

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Wish

Please please please, could the couriers and postal department just stop working for the next couple of days.

Keeping my fingers crossed.

Lets see!

Not all monkeys are to be worshipped!

Cornered!

Posts by Navin & Abhilash about how blogging might affect the corporate scenario later on made me think about whether blogging is really as impressive as we made it sound.

On one hand, you can use your blog to advertise your products as is exercised by Malcolm Gladwell and Seth Godin. There is surely a huge market for Viral bloggers out there, but that's when you use it with corporate intentions, what about ones personal log entries where one opines?

What if in the future( or is it being done already) recruiters start to scan your social networking accounts and blogs in order to get a real insight into your personality? Would that be ethically correct on their part? And would it be smart on your your part to go around exercising your free speech and maybe jeopardize an opportunity coming your way( mind you the other way is also possible)?

I can think of anonymous accounts or rather under a pseudonym as a suitable alternative to this issue. The reason I say this is because:

1. While your anonymous, you have the power of choice as to whom to disclose your identity to.

2. You can fully be vocal about your issue without thinking twice about the repercussions as as your corporate life is concerned.

WWF

‘Matches 145, clash!’

‘Oh shit! I can’t believe your Undertaker beat me!’

The melee of card clutching youngsters could be seen everywhere. School buses, corners of class rooms (when the teacher wasn’t looking obviously), canteens and homes. WWE (then WWF) was truly a sensation. In an era when Playstations hadn’t quite become available (leave alone affordable, wait a second, are they affordable yet?) to the Indian market and computer games hadn’t graduated above those that required a RAM of greater than 16 MB (ah, sweet reminiscence), WWE ruled. It was a plague, every kid would clutch on to it as though it were his life savings, religiously following the sport on TV. Cheering the face, cussing the heel and becoming a theist whenever a bra and panty match would take place, WWE had taken over.

The story line would be discussed over the lunch break with enthusiasm far exceeding that of when some folks sit down and chat about which soap had the maximum number of divorces. A difference of opinion would invoke fights of the highest order and would sometimes create havoc and even destroy friendships (and forge new bonds).

I would buy thermocol once every fortnight and would make a virtual table out of it. Then we’d have the greatest of all matches- TLC. The sheer joy of lifting my 12 year old langotiya yaar and pushing him through the chasms of hell and breaking the pseudo table (and hence winning the game according to the self imposed rules) would easily overshadow another moment. Glory indeed!

We would also partially heed their advice, the famous ads where the gods would themselves ask us to “not try this at home!” No kicking, no punching at the “shame shame”. We’d share their joy, their grief during the darkest hour and cheer them, these neo-gladiators with bodies of steel.

Post 2004, I gave up on wrestling. The unbelievable solace that WWF provided couldn’t be matched by the unbelievably juvenile plots of WWE. I didn’t see myself cheering these new stars for they didn’t have the same zeal, nor did they seem loyal to the game. And the old ones didn’t seem the same as before. They seemed to have evolved into something more commercial, someone the fans couldn’t associate with.

Or maybe I grew up.

Analysing Movies

Rachit's post motivated me to go to the supposedly last Recreational Activity Forum ( RA F) movie.

The movie was Shehanshah.

Yes, yes I quite understand. The only well documented fact about this movie seems to be the monologue from the omnipresent savior of humanity, "Rishte mein to hum tumhare baap lagte hain, Naam hai Shehanshah"

But as I sat in the auditorium with several other mourners I realized that the character of Shehanshah is quite a smart chap. Not only has he a good sense of economy, he knows which role to play when. Now this is something lacking in Superheroes and many unsuccessful entrepreneurs.

He is a cunning chap. Police officer in the morning and a crime fighting superstar studded in black (with a steroid enhanced arm covered in silver) once the sun sets. He doesn't shy away from his duties nor does he give up on the money making opportunities that come his way. He takes bribes from the goons and pretends to be the stereotypical police officer, slacking on the job, chewing that pan which seems to replenish its juices on its own. But come dusk and he transforms into this mean crime fighting hirsute machine with an uber cool baritone.

So lets sum up Shehanshah then:

He acts like a lazy bum while on his day job, networking with high socialites and businessman and maintaining contacts and gathering enough information which he later uses to his advantage while he is "bustin' ass" in the night. He's earning decent too, with all those leather briefcases he's acquiring. And well its only fair, crime fighting is after all a job and why shouldn't one demand a compensation for one's services? The great thing here is that he's also portraying a clean image to the public.

And yes he gets the girl as well.

It had always been a curiosity of mine regarding the mode of income of Superheroes.

These are the Superheroes we need to worship, who have a keen eye for a good deal.

P.S: Meenakshi Sheshadri was surely well endowed back in the day.

Fornication to save Rainforests!

People are always on the look out for some innovative ideas. As is the case in most start ups, the primary idea isn't anything revolutionary, its something ordinary, something which makes us go like "Yeah, so?" but what matters is how you implement it.

A Norwegian organisation which goes by a self explanatory name Fuck For Forests(FFF) has sex in public places to raise money for saving the rainforests. Now I was scandalised as well deeply impressed by the idea. On one hand the idea of having sex in public is still a taboo if not unacceptable in most countries. On the other hand they are raising money for a cause.

The idea receives cent per cent on innovation. The reason I say this is:

However noble be the cause, you can't expect to take money from people if you don't give them something in return. FFF gives it target audience exactly what it wants in return for saving the world's rainforests.

They have sex in public, they have sex on stage during concerts, basically they have sex anywhere they can.

After their first year they made nearly 100,000 USD from their website by selling merchandise and membership.

The problem from this sort of start-up can be that they'll be mostly on their own. I don't see any huge NGO (WWF doesn't accept their money) or Govt Organisations coming forward to help start-ups like FFF. The internet proxies will add to their woes. Also their reach will be quite limited as far as on ground activities are concerned, not many countries are that liberal to public pornography.

But despite that they still have a huge base according to me. If your product is good, people will buy it, the same applies to porn as well. They might not be able to have hoardings and bill boards, but I can safely assume that word of mouth publicity for a venture like this can work just fine. Also, I don't think the initial investment for this would've been anything significant.

FFF is currently working on projects with tribes and locals in the Amazon rainforests.

IMS

It was fun.

St Stephens though were brilliant, they crushed us in the next round, the north zonals, which were also on the same day.

The quiz was quite workoutable with some brilliant questions and as such very few questions "hand-picked" from other quizzes. One issue which did piss a lot of people was the emphasis on bollywood of yesteryears which comprised nearly two thirds the quiz. Quick witted Charanpreet Singh, the QM was pretty good and witty though he had a "I-am-getting-late, I-have-to-go-to-office, so-better-be-quick" style of hosting.

Interesting viewpoint: There were so many banners there saying that smarties will fly to Singapore and that to win this quiz you have to be a smartie. Everywhere I looked I could see the word. Smarties was also the word resonating from the compere, who kept on emphasizing the need for IMS for MBA prep. Shuchi suggests that perhaps IMS actually stands for I'm a Smartie, or something like that.

Another ad maybe?

Great ADs in poor taste

Our Stakeholders never miss an opportunity to score!

**** INSERT COMPANY NAME HERE ****

A billion strong or weak?

While having a discussion with my wingies on the eve of a SPM test, I came up with the following hypothesis.

India should become a super in the recent future. People say that India will be a super power second to China. But I feel that might not be entirely true.

Lets consider China's case. What has happened there in the recent years is something of anti-baby boomers. Though people secretly still produce more than one child and don't report it during the census, the overall population growth rate has certainly declined compared to the last census which was way back in 1990.

I feel the next few decades and the immediate times after that are going to be very crucial. China will move into a newer time where they will not have as many young people as they did have earlier. This they will realise only once the current generations comes to age. There are chances of work being outsourced to India instead. Its just a possibility after all.

Yes obviously this hypothesis makes a lot of assumptions some of which might not be quite accurate but all I'm saying is that its a point of view. Reports show that by 2050 India would've overtaken China as the most populated country, and that too if we take official records, in reality, it could be much before that.

According to the 2001 census, about 35% of India is 0-14 range and nearly 60% is 14-60 years. Currently around 75% of the population is below 38 years of age. The numbers are large, it all depends on which way you look at it. It can mean a billion mouths to feed, where as it also means double the number of hands which can work. A billion strong or weak?

Did any of you guys ever own a community on Orkut?

Yes that giant social networking site which has been crushed to rubble by Facebook. I did, and was quite proud of it. It was a community called "IIT Aspirants" whose ownership had been tranferred over to me while I was in my 11th. Watching it grow from a humble 20 odd something to a whopping 9000+ and still growing was quite fascinating and then t mails. Oh the mails. Tons of them. Advice, rankings, validations of facts and the thank-yous. I had for some time become one of the most credible sources for info on competitive exams. Agreed after a point of time I did a sub standard job as an owner courtesy the banning of orkut at BITS last year and thus appointed moderators. However after I log into my account after what would have been 3 months I notice that I am no longer the owner of the community.

I punch in furiously into my google toolbar and find this

The current Owner is some guy called Vendetta(6), the queer part being that he's Cuban. The moderator is some guy whose screen name I suppose is Evil Genius, he's from Quetta, Pakistan and some girl called Kavita.
And these are the related communities

!?

Social Entrepreneurship has always been there.

Pluggd.in has a recently had an article on how sustainable is social entrepreneurship in India.
The author felt that Amul was the only social venture which actually made it big as was reflected in the blog post

How many national scale, socially relevant, market oriented, impact making businesses can you name in India?” is a question that I asked at a recent gathering of friends. This is partly due to the fact that the only answer that springs to my mind is “Amul“, partly out of a certain confidence that the other person too cannot name any other business and partly out of a genuine desire to know. This question has intrigued me for some time now. Why haven’t there been many more Amul’s in our country? God knows there are enough and more social problems to be solved!

And almost instantaneously there were comments from people retorting. One such person said there have been similar groups such as Lijjad Papad and Fabindia.
Though Lijjad papad has received enough publicity, FabIndia on the other hand according to me has been doing brilliantly. Its great how they have created a niche for themselves in the garments industry and have actually made themselves in a huge brand. Generally as is the case you find similar handmade products only in exposition fairs or in some shady corner. FabIndia on the other hand have made it a retail business with chains of FabIndia's all over the country selling high quality really low priced garments. Here is a link into their back ground.

I've read somewhere that at any given time there are at least 5 people in this world that look identical to you.
Another place, another time:

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Conquering Silicon Valley

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April 4, 1979 – January 22, 2008

RIP

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KING OF THE RING!
PLEASE TRY THIS AT HOME.

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We can be Heroes...
Just for one day.
-David Bowie












In collaboration with Atin Bhattacharya

As Forrest Gump would have put it in his own words, "That's all I have to say about that!"

My first job

I also blog here now.

(click on it and it'll transport you to my page)


The first thing everyone says about it is that its like the"facebook" for desis. A little bit of research shows that it was started by IIT-D passouts and is a Banglore based start up. Also they received 7 million dollars from Sequoia Capital India, this is the same company that funded Google during its early stages.

Lets see how it goes.

Changes.

Thats what been new this semester. I'm cleaner, fatter and hopefully my sleep-cycle won't be messed up.

Oh and this caught my eye while I was browsing the net

Bad Santa

More updates coming soon

So we're in 2008 now.

My new year was pretty decent, Scandinavian bikini clad damsels dancing. One of them had the belly of Achilles with six packs, and complementing that was the 4 month pregnant madam. But thats the law of averages.

Getting caught in a traffic jam at 3 in the morning tells us that we have truly transformed into a neo-urban (ok i invented that up, both mean almost the same thing) city, though I don't know if thats such a great thing.

The year concluded with some great news. Lets see if it continues.

What's inside my head.

As kids we always learnt that whenever some one is in trouble or is having a rough time, or basically life is treating them like a bitch, give them a helping hand and try to be understanding and caring.

But

Sometimes its just way too funny how they land themselves up in such DEEP SHIT!

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The Next Best Thing to Naked.....

Western toilets epitomize dryness.
The only liquid drops gracing the concrete are the ones coming from within you. The only problem is the pricking feeling in your arse once you're done with the works. At first I thought I was doing it all wrong, but then there's no two ways about it, is there?
I wonder how orthodox Indians manage on airplanes, especially long distance flights. Or do they carry a bisleri along with them.
Probably another reason why Indians can never dare to put rugs and carpets on their toilet floor unlike some of our Western counterparts. The curtain near the bath tub is a vestigial accessory serving no useful purpose.

Back home for around 3 weeks.

Air Deccan has been revamped with red.

The seats are now non-reclining. Its written so on the seats with a dash of politeness lest some horny Sardarji engages in kushti with it, thinking that it's got stuck. Obviously, the rest of us too couldn't figure it out by ourselves.

Free mineral water bottles are being supplied.

Finally something thats free on this airline. You'd think that this sudden benevolence was almost pity. Earlier one had to ask for water, which according to them was common sense for one will only drink water when one is thirsty right?

They're also awfully efficient. The tea sachet that expires six months after its been sealed just has to be disposed off the plane during the last few days of its supposed life. So what if it tastes of marijuana(do I see eyes widening with anticipation?)? It's technically still tea.

And obviously three people can't all be reading the in flight magazine at once. So one for three shall suffice.

But just when you'd think that where's the difference you notice an obvious difference You're actually allotted seat number now! You don't have to risk your life in a stampede anymore.

Ok enough cynicism

Seriously, its tough to control a boner. The Kingfisher hostesses have taken over.

As the first semester of second year comes to an end with the grand finale-comprees, one sees the gradual change that one was spoken to of. People are more casual and the pandemonium of the first year has certainly decreased. Or maybe it just a passing thought, since (was it cube who said?) Truth is just a point of view.
It's about this time that one also begins to (re)discover ones contemplative side, or is that because ones got noting better to do? As everyday passes by, one feels that one has truly discovered what one wants to do. At 13,14,15,16,17,18....I thought I had the whole world figured out.

Now I am not so sure.


Here's to a new beginning(yet again)

P.S: Did I just write the entire post using "one" instead of "I" o "Me"???

Cyberoam is the latest tamasha at college these days.
The authorities have recently come up with this new method to piss students off. All the sites have been classified under various genres and at any given time only some of those genres are active( and at some time none are active). This resulted in some awkward moments for the institute where they were confronted by students who complained that they couldn't open the college website. Snapshots of the webpage were circulated through the LAN.
The situation right now has "improved". The hidden sarcasm because well, though cyberoam has marginally reduced, the pages take forever to load. Each page needs to be refreshed i( i>15) times. I suppose this is part of some holy programme to impart the virtue of patience amongst students. Though the consequences of this may be the loss of the F5 key in all computers before the end of semester and an induced case of Tourettes Syndrome.

Comeback

So I start posting after nearly a 3 month hiatus.

The semester has been quite a testing time for me. More courses but lesser to study, lots of free time and hence lots of time to think.

The blogging will resume nowonwards.

BTW, Keep Guessing i.e the BitsQuizLog i.e the Bitys Pilani quizzing forum(open to all) is active and kickin'

The link to it is in the sidebar. Do have a look, some really good questions are put up there. Most of them work outable.

Cheers everyone!

‘…didn’t realize that. Anyways, so the hip-hop wars continued. There would be frequent Mexican stand offs, perhaps even shoot outs in certain hoods. The pandemonium caused by the east-coast west-coast rivalry was reflected in the music. Almost every song was reminiscent of gangsters and bitter relations.’

‘Tupac died and many others followed’

‘Tupic was a dude! He could do anything he wanted!’

‘Oh, you mean like Jesus?’

‘Yea, but then this bloke could sing and had chicks all around him’

‘So did Jesus, it’s just that they were in the barn, with the other animals!’

This Week:

All thanks to Krishnan(for informing me about it), I won a 255 bucks Gift voucher from Odyssey( a book store in Hyderabad) for winning a quiz competition organised by the Hyderabad Quiz Club. The guy who partnered me, I don't quite remembered his name has to be the best quizzer in Hyderabad, all his guesses were hitting the bulls eye. JK's team came second( he was the quizmaster for OHT 07). Perfect way to end my stay in Hyderabad.

HP was unleashed and well...all who have read the book will agree with me when I say that well....we all sorta guessed the end didn't we?( barring a few flashbacks comprising the climax) and serious Albus Severus? Won't he be taunted by his little wizard buddies!

Pune seems to be one stop congregation of all urban college going junta. They seriously have an excess of them. They seem to be haunting every nook and cranny, infesting their wretched souls upon every kiosk, every counter, every table. Honestly, if you ever feel the absence of bright tee and dark jeans clad youth(especially feminine), you know where to head too.
Another thing about Pune, it acts like a slow poison with a burning after taste. The moment you land there(airport), you are greeted by lush greenery. Every hue of green is snugly arranged and it makes for a great viewing. A drive though this bio reserve is truly spectacular and then the reality rams up that tiny little orifice in your buttocks! People drive here to kill! The roads are magnificently adorned by extra deposits of tar which gives one an excuse to miss those rides in the amusement park. The not-so-lucky ones' tyres get stuck in the strategically located depressions. The perfect killjoy!
Pune is like the kid that wanted to be cool, but sorta lost his money.
But then there's a bright side to pune as well, they have some real nice eateries. Lovely bakeries that serve delectable savories. The cops are friendly. They are, atleast to a boy whom they catch sandwiched between two attractive women( he isn't aware that they are his cousins and wouldn't believe it either) at midnight, letting him go without any corporal punishment or sexual impairment( and no fine).
By convention every street MUST have an institution either spiritual or educational in nature catering to a medium or small proportion of people( some of which have to be foreigners, also by convention).
They have an amusing conversion system when it comes to autorickshaws, bodmas is extensively applied.
Conclusion:Pune is better than a lot of other places.

While in Pune, I also got to watch DIE HARD 4.0

The movie has to be the dumbest action flick I have seen. Okay Okay, I know that might have been like a massive slap across the moobs of you macho men but I can' help it. But hey, I never said it was a bad movie. It was very good, good in the sense that at any point of time, some one could walk into the hall and start watching the movie and yet not feel as though he's missed anything substantial. Computer genius not getting due credit for his mastermind project decides that its payback time and tries to bring the nation to a halt and cause a firesale. Wow! That's uber original!
Bruce Willis has done a commendable job in beating the cyber criminals( a chinki assasin included) to pulp, without even hurting his fists.I still feel the movie has been given tooo much hype, I'd watch Con-Air anyday.

And now in Delhi. its 2.34 AM and the people I want, aren't online. Might not update for a few days, or maybe the next post directly from Pilani.

Cya all there!

Charminar

I think I’ve never (and shall never) seen so much life, as I’ve seen on the streets.

Charminar should’ve been nominated as a Wonder. But then how does one explain the beauty of Charminar to one who hasn’t been there? I accuse even the fraud Hyderabadis (you know who you are, myself included) of laying claims on this massive structure and calling it their pride when in reality they are incognizant to its history, its culture, its heritage.

Charminar isn’t just a building; it’s a way of life. Calling it a merely a monument with four minarets would be equivalent of molesting it of its glory, for its so much more than that. The Mecca Masjid, the Lad Bazaar, the trillions of Irani Café’s, the sea of people, some burqua clad, some lying on the road with torn trousers with their hands outstretched, some adorned by rings of all hues. It’s a different world, a reminiscent of old times, which hasn’t yet been touched by the nefarious forces of the neo corporate world. It has evolved, yes, but in its own way. Only the ignorant go on effusing about the riots there for its clearly visible to the ones frequenting the place that perfect harmony exists, be it for the sake of mutual growth of business, but it prevails nonetheless.

It’s almost romantic to see how amidst the plethora of Muslim enterprise and culture the Hindus have craved a niche for themselves here and there.

One can always lose one’s self as well as get lost in the gullies (really narrow streets). Gullies which twist and turn a la rattle-snakes, which with every turn present another facet of this part of Hyderabad, be it women clad in jhathaak( so much so that shades are required to shield you from their radiance) clothing, hawkers selling boulder sized gol guppas or the blinding colors of the Bangles in the numerous bangle stores.

And then there’s the exotica:

Rumors of a street which sells exotic and no-so-exotic birds reached my ear through Vivek. We checked the placed and were shocked to witness the melodrama. Birds from all the corners of the world were caged. I was a little hesitant to take pictures for the fear of being mistaken as a PETA activist, which would’ve surely resulted in some serious impairing, if not an unceremonious death (after which we’d have been sold as meat by the way things looked around here). We witnessed wild hares trotting, cute pups tethered, turkeys, sparrows and roosters chilling out in their respective cages, given up on life. We saw a Macaw, which was on sale for two lakhs; however this was the least of what we amazed us. What really shocked us was this: This bloke putting his hand inside a bustling cage thus causing even more furor amongst the tiny winged beings. His hands which were mammoth in comparison to the infinitesimal bird, cornered it and grabbed it entirely and put in a paper bag, which one would usually encounter at a grocery store. Following which he dispassionately tied the neck of the bag with a black thread, with the bottom of the paper bag still swerving in random directions. People also buy crows, then direct them towards their neighbors house thus unleashing upon them a bad omen and decorating their (neighbor's) life with misfortune and sorrow.

Three hours out on the streets and I was convinced that it’s the one stop shop for all your needs, you could find anything here. Vivek joked that you could even find individual keyboard keys here; somehow I got the feeling that it wasn’t a joke.

Come night time and the entire area is lit up. Its a mania and one can very well appreciate the need to pedestrianize the entire region. As you look around you, you notice that you’re eyes transformed into a kaleidoscope.

Closing thought: The Biryani of the old city surpasses everything else in terms of its superiority (Yes you Hyderabad house, Paradise worshippers; I'm pointing my fingers at you) and taste.

Keep Guessing

The first BITSIAN quizzing blog has set up. It's open to one and all.Do come everyday and keep the statcounter ticking. Most colleges have one( Jadooooopur has one too), so why not us?
To promote participation we're handing out free I-Pods/Smutty mags/Sneakers to everyone who just stumbles onto our blog, so do leave a comment(preferably an answer to the questions). We're dedicated, we'll track back your IP and send you the goodies :P

The name of the blog is KEEP GUESSING!

The rules have been put up on the top right of the blog, do mug them up real nice.

Alea Jacta Est

Harry Potter: The wait is over!

All around me I see people raving about how they were the chosen few to witness a phenomenon. The First Day First Show (FDFS) of the latest Harry Potter flick: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (OOTP). It’s almost as though the theaters could suddenly cater to a hundred fold extra audience just for this show. I am one of the few who got to watch it on the second day (by which time half the world had seen it)

J.K Rowling is surely having a gala time as the movie has shattered all box office records (just like all Potter movies do) and is raking in the moolah. It’s second in terms of first day earnings. Director David Yates took over from Mike Newell. And Wikipedia had this to say about the movie

Rowling wrote on her website on 19 december, 2006 that she was given a 20-minute preview of the film, which "looks fantastic"; after seeing the final product, she proclaimed the film "the best yet". Unlike some authors, Rowling has consistently offered her praise for the film adaptations of her work

Having seen all the Potter movies, except the Prisoner of Azkaban( for which I have to whip myself considering I feel it has the best climax of all the Potter books), I can vouch for the fact that this one has the best special effects, an aspect of the movie which has received unprecedented publicity. But then the reviews have been mixed. I agree to some extent with some of them. It’s a book about magic and magical worlds; sadly there isn’t much of magic in this one. The jokes are a lot more subtle, though not many.

Some other things which I noticed:

Personally I didn’t like Emma Watson in this one. Okay Okay I know I am going to have stones pelted at me for that but then hey…it’s my personal view. I preferred the cute Hermione from the first movie. People grow up I know. However almost everyone who’s seen the movie is totally mesmerized by her, so it’s probably just me.

I completely loved Imelda Staunton for her portrayal of Dolores Umbridge. She was flawless. With the Ministry’s backing and the power of pink, she simply stole the show. For me, the movie was all about her. Every dialogue she delivered those perpetual giggles and the style. Marvelous!

Luna Lovegood, played by Evanna Lynch was another spectacular role. She was so cute and so…erm…loony, as it is supposed to me. It’s almost as though she was meant to speak in riddles and was living in this endless dream sequence

Grawp was adorable, really cute and shit. But something about him struck me.

Does he resemble someone else we know?

And seriously, they have to make Voldemort scary.

This cannot be the ultimate face of terror which is supposed to freak the hell out of everyone, so much so that people shudder to utter his name.

Nor this

I get a feeling that he was made intentionally made to look like a douche so that children (who actually believed in works of fiction) wouldn’t piss in their pants.

I think most people loved the movie even more so because of the disaster of the previous one, which was in plain words: Boring!

This one thankfully has enough lines for everyone (well almost), unlike Goblet of Fire where everyone had a word limit of around 50 words.

Most hardcore Potter fans will love the movie despite its minor glitches here and there, though some people are rather shocked at some details not matching with the book. It was a 700 page book and a two hour movie, come on! Some parts just had to be edited and reframed, get over it and enjoy the movie for the other stuff. All in all I’d say; go watch it, definitely worth a watch.

Shock!

So when was the last time you were in a situation that actually motivated you to call yourself a “chutiya”? (Roughly translated to dickhead)

The other day I was trotting about the house in my usual tumultuous ways, as is common to bored blokes with a lot of sugar clotting their blood, when my eyes fell upon a piece of paper. It was neatly folded, characteristic of an official letter, more so of the most dreaded of them all. Bill.

It had BSNL etched on it and from the moment I laid my eyes upon in, my heart started to beat faster. And the blood circulation cut short (if you get my drift). I inched closer, slowly, thus creating a pseudo slow-motion moment with my arms extended and longing to tear that seal and get over with it.

Oh, I was no fool (or fu as my brothers from the ghetto would like calling it). I knew very well that the bill was going to be quite a handsome sum, which would make its way to the hardworking people in the PSU: BSNL. I gulped couple of imaginary snot balls down my throat before unleashing the demon upon me.

And then I did it. I was enlightened.

It wasn’t a demon.

IT WAS SATAN HIMSELF.

From then onwards I was convinced that the number of the beast wasn’t 666 and was indeed the number that I had my eyes transfixed on: 9850.60 (The devil deserves accuracy up to two decimal places as well). 9850.60, approximately 10K bucks! How does one get that? How is that even possible? Seriously, it makes for excellent conversation material. I mean who wouldn’t take notice of a guy who blew up 10K on his phone bill.

Surely there had to be a miscalculation. Surely! It just seemed like such a travesty considering that we’re a struggling third world nation (errm…lets suppose we are, it’s my blog, ergo, I get to make the assumptions). Where was the god-damn concession? As I were to realize after heavy scrutinizing of the bill on numerous occasions and from various angles, the kind folks at BSNL did cut down on a lot of money before kindly passing on the bill to our household.

The real blow was to come once I saw the break-up stats. It wasn’t the phone bill exactly that sky-rocketed the bill. The phone bill didn’t even cause a collateral damage (It was responsible for about one tenth of the entire bill). It was the Internet. The underdogs, the whore, the vamp, give it whatever name you want to. I felt mugged and raped if not both. 7000 bucks! Who does that? That’s ludicrous! Can you keep a straight face while publicly telling people that you spent seven grand on internet without breaking into a guffaw(even more so lest you end up farting simultaneously). How does one achieve that? Then the memories exploded. 150 videos on Youtube, constant Orkutting, endless Wiki-ing, tireless browsing, updates, blogs, more blogs. Science, Business, Tech, Movies, Filth Diaries, more business. Never log out of the Gtalk, so much so that people started to doubt whether I had exchanged my real identity for a virtual one and was leading a life on the web. BSNL had given me 2500 free MB of upload/download limit, plus free usage during 2-8 AM( which they called Happy Hours, clichéd yet true), which came to around 3000 MB. Despite all these goodies I used another 8K MB (obviously during the day) which cost me around 7K dosh, thus accounting for a lion’s share of the humongous amount.

I had trouble meeting my father’s eye that night. I thought I’d get a lecture from the folks about how I’ve lost the focus in life and they might even speculate "moaning Danish pornstars" to be somehow involved in this affair. They might go on about how when they were my age there was no such distraction to occupy their time and hence they are where they are today and I am 90 Kilos. Instead, Dad was quite bemused to see his son stare at his toes with ardent interest as though it was the most interesting thing in the vicinity. Clearly he hadn’t seen the bill. But that day would come too…and pretty soon.

Tongue in cheek!

What? You've never seen a hot popular football sensation stick his tongue down a struggling committed actress? :P
A Portuguese with a Bong( does that sound familiar????)
Actually if you zoom 10x, you'll notice that there's no lip contact in the picture. There's just one photo for the two caught-in-the-act, and this is it. Zee has been raving about it.
It might very well have been a friendly peck, but you know what made the difference?
The mother fucking hand!
Him caressing changes the entire tone of the pic. It accentuates the sensuality and sends the message that they aren't just being cordial. And this is rather ironic considering Bipasha is the one who is the spokesperson as far as her relationship is concerned.
It was bad enough that Bipasha was compering the new 7 wonders ceremony. She has proved that Indians are extremely wary when in company of foreigners and just have to make a fool of themselves by trying to be someone they're not.

And yes! WTF is she wearing? What color is that anyways? Chameli pink?

As I type this entry, each muscle, each ligament is screaming out in agony. Begging me to somehow cast a magical spell over it, Harry Potter-esque (or maybe Hermione since Harry is plagued by juvenile delinquency). Actually, it’s more of a silent scream. If every part of my body had its own independent vocal existence, it would very well give the impression of an intrinsic mass orgy taking place, since moans would be the only things surfacing. Screaming is just too much of a bother.

My body, which had renounced from any form of hardcore physical activity, took centre court yesterday. With a racquet in my hand and a couple of balls in each pocket I warmed up (which is essentially just standing on my toes). Suddenly all the memories came back, one flash at a time and it was a reminiscence of an archaic life, a time when I’d find solace in sports.

Back then, I had tried my hand at everything, tennis, cricket, swimming and had a decent command over all of them if not rising to the status of a pro. Somewhere down the line priorities changed and interests shifted.

Whoosh!

I fired my first ace!

I was having a great time running all around the court, as though tracing out a probability density function. Guess I still had the ol’ touch, or was it beginners luck? For things can only get worse with time, right?

After nearly an hour of panting and sweating from all possible pores on my body I reclined on the steps with a smile that exuberated confidence and a rage that I’d long forgotten dwelled inside me. Fiery eyed I bounced back within minutes to take on any Federer/Lendl.

All the hulla gulla aside, I knew the truth. I knew that these emotions wouldn’t last outside the court. Outside the court there’d just be one thing.

And then it bequeathed! Oh the pain! The fother mucking pain! Oh how it slowly filled me up, meticulously navigating its way into all my tissues and organs. I revolted; it was a struggle but finally had to give in. There was no use fighting it, might as well embrace it, hoping for it to forge an alliance and go away.

But it didn’t!

And it doesn’t!

Every inch of my body moans and groans, reminiscent of our great fore fathers who laid down their lives in order to achieve independence! So what the fuck was I fighting for? Why did I have to torture myself like this? Those two hours of supreme arrogance transformed me into a gimp. Blisters have infested my fingers, a testimony to the eroded grip of the racquet. Even my toes ceased to infer the nerve sensations; they were doing their own bit, wriggling aimlessly. Asked Mamma to feed me dinner for my arms had long turned atheist and wouldn’t budge. I’d try to sit down but my pelvic muscles would retaliate swearing at me for subjecting them to this torture: You don’t give us pleasure, at least don’t gift us pain. Stating that I was comfortably numb would be a lie as blatant as Pamela Anderson saying that she believed in natural products.

Guess will have to sweat it out again day after tomorrow!

Some thoughts!

It’s there in the last spasm of a dying musk deer, the last breath of schools of fish trapped under oil spills, the diminishing numbers of migratory birds, the rapidly vanishing habitat of the giant panda.

It’s the cry of the earth. Can you hear it?

Do your bit. Save our planet. Please. Time is running out...

As I finished reading this I felt an intense rush of emotions. My fingers clenched and I stared blankly at the screen.

How many times have we heard this?

We all like to pretend that we care for our planet. And who knows? Maybe in some chamber deep inside our wretched mind, we actually do. But let’s be realistic.

Most of us simply don’t want to bother.

We feel that since we wont live to see the end of the world (unless WWIII decides to spoil the party) why bother? Or better, our pessimism leads us to believe that there’s nothing we can do. This belief generally comes from the environment around us. We see a friend of ours throwing the chips packet he just devoured on the streets. We see clusters of men letting loose (if you know what I mean) on the same wall that has ‘Plis don’t pass urine’ scribbled shabbily. And as time passes we truly feel that “it’s too late”.

A friend of mine who was sitting for a branch allocation counseling told me that his father found people still pursuing Petro Engineering rather amusing since in another 2-3 decades time there wouldn't be much petroleum left in the world to use.

Honestly speaking (and correct me if I’m wrong), saving the earth doesn’t feature in our top priority list. But every time the issue springs up, depending upon how it’s presented to us (especially if creative clips are shown every 2 minutes in between a mega concert), we all become environmentally charged. Sadly, this enthu disappears almost as quickly as it is aroused.

But as long as we’re charged we feel that we can make a difference (do I hear trumpets in the background?). But wouldn’t dedicate our selves to some on ground activity, instead we believe in the power of the exponents.

Little things, if initiated by a lot of people can shake the world

Ah yes! How many times have I heard that? But the sad part is even the little things like walking down to the store instead of zooming on a motorbike or using natural perfumes instead of aerosol sprays seem like too much of a bother beyond a certain point.

You know what the real problem is? It’s not smoke, its not money, its not greed. Its convenience!

It’s more convenient to blog about the issue and comfort ourselves reminding that “we’ve enlightened the public” than actually get off our lazy bum and switch off the fan that’s running, and open the windows to let the fresh monsoon breeze in.

We do what is convenient to us. We let the tap run because one hand is navigating the brush and the other hand is scratching the buttocks. We don’t switch off the lights after leaving the room because we’ve already locked the door. Now who’s going to unlock the door? Bah!

I remember myself, long ago. I was so supercharged after visiting a recycling plant that I stopped using notebooks for doing my rough work. I’d use the newspaper to scribble some formulae or note down our fundamental duties. I did that for almost two years. I guess as we grow up we come to face with the harsh reality (or so we feel) and realize that we’re helpless. Kids don’t feel that since they’re still in that imaginative world where everything is still possible and can be turned around.

At least I don’t feel like a hypocrite.

P.s: Nil dear, this post wasn't directed at you all. Remember the chat we had last night? This is just a vent post.

Think four times before saying, "I DO"

Salman Rushdie is an extremely talented and ambitious man. Yet his scandals supercede that. First he writes a novel which goes on to become the Booker of Bookers. His next novel almost becomes another booker prize winner. He also writes a book on the alleged heretical verses and pisses off most of the Muslims, ergo, gets a fatwa launched against him ironically on Valentines’ Day. And ultimately gets knighted for his services to literature.

I remember my mother telling me once that he commented upon Indira Gandhi’s lips comparing it to a vagina.

Good Lord!

But he is determined to achieve something greater than all these trivial matters, something which will make him the undisputed king of the neo-age. What he truly wants is to break the record of Elizabeth Taylor. Nothing would give him more than to surpass the legendary actress’ unfathomable record.

He’s almost there.

One of the extraordinary things about human events is that the unthinkable becomes thinkable

- Salman Rushdie

And correct you are sir. Indeed!

I remember reading TIME when Rushdie got married again. It had Rushdie quoted saying something about marriage being a holy union of beings. I found it rather amusing to see Rushdie believe in the sanctity of marriage considered it didn’t work for him the last three times. Imagine him at the altar and being asked for the fourth time, “Do you accept this women to be your lawfully wedded wife till death do you part?”

“I do”

Yeah it would have been true had the fatwa been carried out successfully. Yet fate would intervene.

Padmalakshmi. I guess the only thing wrong with her is her name. But then what’s in a name? I mean she’s so radiantly hot! Apparently she’s really intelligent. Must be hard for her because no one would be willing to listen to her because they’d all be undressing her in their head. Rushdie on the other hand could bear to control his lust for her for the sole reason that in 1999 he had an operation to correct a tendon condition that was making it increasingly difficult for him to open his eyes, so maybe he could pay more attention to what was coming out of her mouth rather than focus on what could go in.

But now it doesn’t matter.

Salman Rushdie has agreed to divorce his wife, Padma Lakshmi, because of her desire to end their marriage

-New York Post

The ignominy of being dumped by your own wife.

Our lives teach us who we are.

-Salman Rushdie.

Care to elaborate and provide some more insight on this kind Sir?

Decc@n Chronicle

For those who have not come face to face with this phenomenon, I present to you Exhibit A. It's ad campaigns are flawless, with tag lines sporting "78% of the trendy middle class people who own a scooter read DC"
Isn't that just so splendid? It rules the plateau with its massive sales.
Every now and then(more often than not), they come up with these advantageous snippets. Have a look here

Now shouldn’t I just thank my stars for that serendipitous encounter while I was browsing the net?

Travel Bag. How convenient. I would’ve never thought about that because I am generally too busy being the brand ambassador of jute by sporting gunny bags to carry my stuff.

It is imperative to sport a clean, handsome look when you are holidaying.

Oh really? Coz the last we all checked our office dress code, being sloven and covered with muck fetched us brownie points.

Also, its terribly interesting how mp3 player/walkman/cellphone has been conveniently replaced by the ubiquious iPod.

Do check out the sports blog Pavilion Seat. Its being regularly updated!( wink wink)

Keepin' it real

Due to the intervention of involuntary and unavoidable forces, I landed up at Hyderabad CENTRAL last night. Upon reaching there I witness the brouhaha and am all curious to figure out its cause. As I walk closer to the crowd I can hear a lot of incorrigible noise which I guessed was some bloke rapping.

Voila!

WAR OF THE DJ’s

The last contestant from the prelims took the stage and tried to put his “shit” together. He got cheered from the crowd and the applause died out just as fast as it started.

It was quite ordinary.

Once he was done, this radiantly hot flesh on bones took centre stage. She was supposedly an RJ on Big FM and looked a lot like Shweta Gulati (the girl who played the role of the bratty Tia on Remix). And well, she began saying something which I’m sure no one took notice of. From where I was standing I knew the reason for this. The cleavage is far more appealing for the eyes than the compeering is to the ears. It was sinister man!

The results were announced and I could sense the disappointment of the crowd for some DJ who had performed earlier in the day (and really well apparently) wasn’t chosen and instead the last DJ to perform in the prelims was who according to me was quite substandard.

What this guy and many others I noticed were doing wrong was this:

They thought that they were still in a club, and the hoards of uncles and auntie ji’s along with chunnu munnu were party animals. And well their attempts of asking the crowd to “sing along” or “Bounce” didn’t really have the desired effect.

Another thing was that the tracks being played were the ones that really had no mass appeal, I mean come on ‘My Name is’ by Eminem was hot like what, a decade back?

And on top of that the WORST thing they did was this: They weren’t ready the moment they took the stage, as in they seemed lax. So what they did was that the moment they got on stage they played some really annoying music (mostly some beats which sounded like the sort of disturbance you get when you get too close to the microphone). Now that too would be fine, what was most pissing off was that this music would repeat itself over and over and over and over, and well never seemed to cease.

I suppose they were so interested in getting the technical stuff right that they forgot the three hundred people who were looking at them. And well I don’t know if you’ll agree, but watching a guy in a tight tee just pushing some buttons and occasionally uttering a nonchalant “yeah” isn’t really that entertaining.

Finally this thin bloke who resembled my favorite African American satirist/slap stick comedian Dave Chapelle, started doing something right. He played the tracks that are currently driving people mad ‘Jhoom Barabar Jhoom’ and got the legion of Uncles and Aunties on his side. Also the jumping and ghoomofying that he was trying to pass off as dance actually worked. The crowd got excited seeing a guy dancing really badly and having the time of his life. He was an instant fav! Also he didn’t keep the crowd waiting with those irritating noise (which sound like gun shots or laser firing) for a prolonged period of time.

I’m convinced that Trance music is the work of Satan!